Saturday, December 30, 2017


It’s almost year-end, and that means it’s time for The Privates, our much-coveted awards.  Let’s start with the  
Gender Equality Award
 which goes to China’s leadership:
  • ·         Female population of China: 652,982,000
  • ·         Female representation on the ruling 7-penis Politburo Standing Committee: nil (ever)

"Women in the People's Republic of China enjoy equal rights with men in all spheres of life, in political, economic, cultural, social and family life."  Article 48 of China's constitution.

With former Chief Executive 689 now strutting his spleen on the national stage and unlamented Justice Secretary Rimsky Yuen on his way out, this year’s 
Ugliest Excrescence on the Face of Hong Kong Politics Award
 is a shoo-in for Junius Ho. 
Most pro-Beijing Legislative Council members have no love for Hong Kong’s localist youngsters, but Junazious is so far the only one to suggest publicly that separatists deserve to be murdered for expressing their opinions.  Nice guy...

For most of the year Donald Trump (already the early recipient of the 
) looked like a clear front-runner for the 
Bloated Ego Award
as well, but in a cunning late move, obnoxious British loudmouth Nigel Farage – so popular he has never even succeeded in winning a Parliamentary seat at Westminster despite several attempts – came from behind with his absurd whining about not receiving a knighthood for his efforts to advance Brexit. It takes an extraordinary level of brazen cheek (Americans might call it chutzpah) to drive one’s country down the road to ruin and then expect to be given a bloody medal for it!

Returning to Hong Kong, the Hong KongPolice Force are the proud winners of the  
Easily Confused Award. 

Let me offer them a simple clue: if someone is throwing Molotov cocktails, breaking windows, burning cars or brandishing a weapon, you can bash them with impunity; if they are just peacefully passing by, then leave them alone.  Got that?  Of course, the definition of a weapon can be stretched a bit if you’re really determined to nick someone…

That’s it for this year – unless we start giving out awards to people who genuinely deserve them, like Liu Xia, Ahed Tamini, or the Dalai Lama.

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