As genuine as a Louis Vuitton bag in Shenzhen

For the second day in a row, the South China Morning Post has run a story about Beijing's so-called Pamchen Lama, this time with a photo labelling him by that title as well.

For heaven's sake, this guy is no more the Panchen Lama than I am the Archbishop of Canterbury! Like many things that come out of China, he is a well-crafted fake. Any article on him should precede his title with the word "Counterfeit".

However, don't expect the Post to risk its business interests in China by telling the truth, any more than the eunuchs running South Africa who recently barred the Dalai Lama from attending a peace conference there.

P.S. To see how real journalism looks, compare the Post's fawning adulation of the young fake with the BBC's balanced coverage of the same story.

Pro-China Morning Post

Headline on today's South China Morning Post website:

Panchen Lama back in spotlight, with praise for Beijing leadership

Well, there's a surprise! With its usual objectivity, the Post conveniently forgets to mention that the so-called "Panchen Lama" they refer to is not the genuine Panchen Lama recognised, according to Tibetan tradition, by the Dalai Lama - that one has been "disappeared" - but Beijing's fake substitute.

If the future of Tibet was not such a serious matter, it would be highly entertaining to see an avowedly atheist regime absurdly insisting it knows better than the universally recognised spiritual leader of Tibetan Buddhism who is the real Panchen Lama. I look forward to the death of Pope Benedict - it will be very interesting to see Beijing reject the Cardinals' choice of Pope in favour of their own "Patriotic" candidate pledged to breaking the Vatican's diplomatic ties with Taiwan.

Spammers Wanted

Does this ad in Hong Kong Craigslist irritate you as much as it does me?

Posting on HK forums and blogs (HK)

We need a writer to post in HK Chinese and English to all the main HK forums and in multiple HK blogs as well.
You will be required to create new threads on forums and also reply to existing threads. The posting need to be from different accounts and should not sound like advertising to avoid the post being deleted.

We need 100 posts done in 7 days to start then it will be an ongoing job.

In other words, we want you to post a load of spam disguised as genuine contributions. I think you can guess my thoughts on this sneaky approach.

Something Is Happening Here But You Don't Know What It Is

Just went to Bob Dylan's official website to read the interview on his new album (coming soon). Then clicked on Media, Videos, and the first video offered, Like A Rolling Stone. Up pops a YouTube screen announcing "This video has been removed due to terms of use violation". Huh? Apart from the bad English (it should be "owing to"), are the copyright cops now so paranoid that even Bob Dylan isn't allowed to post Bob Dylan videos? This is getting ridiculous.

Fire Warning

Sign at the Yonghe Lamasery in Beijing, showing how English grammar can confuse the unwary. Fortunately I was using my digital camera, so had no film with me to burn - though I have been known to burn the occasional photo to CD.

The lamasery was a former imperial palace donated to Tibetan monks by one of the Ching emperors - showing that Tibetan culture was once held in much higher regard in China than it appears to be these days.

P.S. I should of course have said "syntax" rather than "grammar". The sentence is in fact grammatically correct, but ambiguous.

Insufficient Effort

Passing the Hong Kong Bank building on a bus this morning, I observed that someone was assiduously polishing one of the iconic lions in front of it.

Nice try, but after the events of the past few weeks, I fear it will take much more than a splash of Brasso to refurbish HSBC's tarnished reputation.

Some Contradiction?

The Chinese government has predictably denounced as "lies" the Dalai Lama's recent speech claiming that Tibetans in Tibet live in a state of constant fear - and just to make sure, it has dispatched thousands of troops and armed police to the region to imtimidate them into seeing things China's way.

Murphy Was Here

Ever noticed that whenever you put a jug or mug of liquid in a microwave oven to warm it up, it always comes to rest with the handle facing away from you? Why, I wonder?

Problem Solving

"Global problems are too big and too complex to be solved without female participation."
--Hillary Clinton

And a little more male participation wouldn't hurt, either....

No Connection - and No Sense

The South China Morning Post website today features a front page headline "Police find explosives in Tibet". So how do they illustrate this dramatic news? With a picture of the explosives? With a picture of the bridge under which they were allegedly found? Or of the police who claimed the find?

No, nothing so obvious for the Post. Instead they use this (rather good) image of a young Tibetan monk peacefully reading


- and when you click on the story, it turns out he's not even in Tibet, but in Sichuan province.

So what's the connection? Does the Post buy in to China's absurd propaganda which sees every Tibetan monk as a secret agent of the Dalai Lama, a potential "splittist" revolutionary? Or is it just that a lazy sub-editor reached for the first vaguely Tibetan-themed picture he could find? Either way, given the tensions in Tibet, the Post should know better.

You know you're getting old when...

• The BBC refer to someone who only appeared on the music scene 15 years after you started listening as "veteran British singer Paul Weller".
• You look at a photo, think "Who's that guy with grey hair wearing the same outfit as me?", then realise it is you.

Not the South China Morning Post - or the Jockey Club either

For the past 2 days, the South China Morning Post website has not (on my machine, at least - YMMV) come up correctly on Google's Chrome browser, although it works on both Internet Explorer and FireFox. Whether this is the fault of Google or the Post I don't know, but it's interesting that after Microsoft declared victory in the browser wars some years ago, rival browsers are now making a serious comeback (with Opera and Safari also in the running).

Not that the Hong Kong Jockey Club appears to have noticed - its online betting service only works on IE.

Many Hands Make Expensive Work

As both Hong Kong's free-to-air TV stations announce staff layoffs, a thought occurs to me: does it really take three people to read the news (two to exchange silly chitchat at the end and one to cover the sports)? On some occasions, the people in the studio must outnumber the viewers.

So, it's goodnight from me.
And it's goodnight from him.

Death Without Dignity

Attending a funeral this morning has left me thinking, partly about the depressing inevitability of growing old - but that's for another time.


My question today is this: why are such ugly hearses used in Hong Kong? I don't know about other countries, but in Britain or the US, most people are carried to their final resting place in a sleek black (or sometimes white) Rolls Royce, Bentley or Cadillac, something with a bit of class. Here the coffin is unceremoniously conveyed in what looks like a blue and silver cargo van which might otherwise be carrying sacks of rice.

What's the deal here? Even deceased celebrities and multi-millionaires get the same treatment, so it can't be inability to afford anything more dignified. Can someone explain?

Spot the difference

Cause for Confidence

I have a feeling that 2009 is going to be a good year. Every politician is predicting that it will be awful - and when did you ever hear a politician telling the truth?

Canine Conundrum

I can't help feeling the unfortunate dog stuck between two buildings in Yuen Long would be rescued much sooner if kind-hearted people would only stop feeding her. Hasn't anyone in Hong Kong read Winnie the Pooh?

P.S. (28 January) Sadly, the poor creature died shortly after being finally pulled out from between the walls.

Making It Better:
Hong Kong Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

Bullish

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Wishing all my readers a happy, healthy and prosperous Year of the Ox.

Serfing PRC

I happened to turn on CCTV 9 at lunchtime (helpfully carried by both local English language channels - whatever happened to giving the public a choice?) It was featuring a discussion on the recently proclaimed Serfs Emancipation Day (shouldn't there be an apostrophe in there somewhere?) in Tibet. As usual when covering domestic political issues, CCTV had ensured a "fair and balanced" discussion by inviting two experts who both took the same side of the argument.

China's propaganda machine (of which CCTV is part) has claimed for years that the majority of Tibetans, until they were "liberated" by Chinese troops, were serfs who enjoyed no human rights and were cruelly treated by the Tibetan aristocracy, and that the "splittist" (surely the ugliest word ever coined to substitute for a perfectly good existing word, separatist) Dalai Lama and his evil clique seek to return to this unacceptable state of affairs, an event which can only be prevented by continued Chinese domination over Tibet.

Unfortunately for China, few people in the West buy this argument, and there are in fact several reasons why it is a hard case to sell. No one doubts that Tibet was, until quite recent times, a materially backward and primitive society in which life was harsh for most people. It was a feudal system with a caste structure in place. But the idea that the Dalai Lama - who is very obviously a compassionate and decent man - wants to bring back feudalism is clearly absurd. He has made it very clear that a future free Tibet would be ruled by a democratically elected government, and that any leadership role for himself would be solely in the spiritual sphere.

The second problem with China's argument is that there is little or no independent evidence that the barbarism it describes was commonplace. Accounts by Western observers in Tibet during the few decades before the Chinese invasion give no suggestion that cruelty was in any way institutionalised, even though those same observers - for example André Migot in Tibetan Marches (published 1955) - clearly recognised the savage treatment of the peasants in China at that time by their feudal masters, and in fact applauded the rise of the Chinese Communist Party as a means to overthrow it.

Time is on China's side - the Dalai Lama is now over 70, and the true Panchen Lama has been "disappeared" by Chinese authorities in favour of their fake substitute. But whatever the future holds for Tibet, let's at least tell the truth about the place.

Repainting the Sistine Chapel

Among the handful of TV programmes I watched without fail in my youth - Doctor Who, The Avengers, Top of the Pops, Match of the Day (this was in the days before Monty Python) - one stood out for its originality and inventiveness. The Prisoner was, and remains, one of the most intriguing television series ever produced. Now comes news that its star and creator, Patrick McGoohan, has passed away at the age of 80.

McGoohan gave good performances in later years, but nothing he did subsequently could ever match the impact of The Prisoner. A new generation of fans have discovered via DVD the story - more relevant than ever in these days of universal surveillance - of the captive who refuses to submit to his mysterious captors, defiantly proclaiming "I am not a number - I am a free man!"

Sadly, along with the news of McGoohan's death comes the news that a remake of The Prisoner is in the works. What is this awful compulsion that film makers have to redo the classics? The Mona Lisa has been painted; the Venus de Milo has been carved; Beethoven's Ninth has been composed. No one tries to remake them, so why are films different?

I'm not saying all remakes are bad - some try to reinvent the original in interesting ways - but far too many creative people spend their time reinventing the wheel, and only succeed in diluting the iconic power of the original. There is only one King Kong; only one Solaris; and only one Prisoner. Leave them alone and find something new to create.

I live in fear that one day Hollywood will be stupid enough to remake Casablanca...

P.S. It's bad enough that some idiot colourized it. As Calvin and Hobbes fans will know, the world was not yet coloured back then.

Never Never Land

Public consultation on electoral reforms for 2012 will be put off until later this year to allow the government to focus on the economy, Chief Executive Donald Tsang Yam-kuen announced yesterday.
--South China Morning Post, 16 January 2009

So, the Hong Kong government finally admits what a lot of us suspected: it's so incompetent, it can't handle more than one thing at a time.