Watching President Xi's visit to the UK on television, it suddenly occurred to me that the Queen's job is remarkably like that of a bar hostess. Consider the similarities:
- You don't get to choose your guests - the [Prime Minister/Mama-san] does that for you.
- You have to be friendly and smiling towards them no matter how unlikeable they may be.
- Encounters tend to follow a standard - and not necessarily entirely truthful - script: [the long-established friendship between our two countries/You handsome man, me love you long time].
- Some subjects are best not discussed: [and this was seized by our troops when they looted the Summer Palace/Does your wife know you're here?]
- You have to encourage the guest to keep buying [British exports/drinks].
Cheers!
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